Here Comes the Bride…


Here comes the bride
Cake laced with cyanide
No surprise, the Twonk lied
But our son chose to confide.
I thought I would have cried,
Felt inadequate and terrified
But there’s a sense of peace – a changing tide.
She’s on a downward slide:
She’s prey (not least coz she’s literally wide-eyed).
In the face of the info I’m supplied
I strive to hang onto my pride,
The only path is one that’s dignified
A card with a ‘congratulations!’ inside
And to act my arms being open wide.
My time is something I’ll bide
I’ll take it in my stride
It’s life, and no one died
And in time, low and betide,
Her balls will be emotionally fried
As it all becomes magnified
She’ll see his personality is dip-dyed
NPD isn’t something you can hide
The man is the ultimate jekyll and hyde.
She’ll be slowly crucified
Because all odds will be defied
If he develops a faithful side.
It won’t be an easy ride;
When a younger model and he collide
And alcohol is plied
His todger will accidentally glide
Into her underside.
And there lies a new allied
At which point, I will decide:
A survival book I will provide,
Based on the coping strategies I tried,
To say, “you’ll be ok once your tears have dried,
So don’t be petrified
Or fill her house with nitrous oxide”
So why be kind to a girl who kept my ex satisfied?
My opinion of her I have to divide
Because for all her deceit there is an upside:
I thank her – she’s the muse that’s inspiring my guide
Thinking she deserves the pain is not justified,
And a book is more satisfying than carbon monoxide.



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