Special London Ringing Tone



I’m picking at a contentious bone
Your special London ringing tone
Our son is wise to your deceit
He’ll ignore your words and watch your feet

Liar liar, my pen’s on fire
Determined my blood pressure won’t get higher
Your life so fuelled with misdirection
Our little boy ditched whilst you see to your erection
“Hello Daddy” is all he called to say
But you never told him you were going away
Just 5 days of silence whilst in “London” town
We tried you on your phone but then had to put it down
You claim to share the hymn sheet from which I’m singing
But we call and hear an international tone to be ringing
I’ll be kind to your face, but you’re a cut and dried Wanker
Last time you said Wales, when you went to Sri Lanka
I don’t use my words with intent to offend
It’s an exercise that serves to help me to mend
To not feel bitter and to let things go
To focus on the people I’m blessed to know
And the more you fuck up, the more I’m driven
To rectify the path our son has been given
To be a better mum, to show him what’s right
To be loving, considerate and not want to fight
To be fair, to be honest, and always be kind
Our boy has your eyes but I pray not your mind

I butter my bread with a child-sized knife
I have no desire for a separate life
And the reality of the week is that, whilst you’re a liar,
We got hold of tickets for Earth Wind and Fire
Your dishonesty is rooted but what the heck
I’m taking our son to see Coldplay and Beck
We’ll party at New Order, a joy you don’t know
And at least at Adele he’ll get a “Hello”
So thanks to my pen and a well-known farmer
This week ends in blessings of well-placed karma.

Glastonbury here we come.

And to top it all off I asked a sheep to smile for my photo this morning; it was most obliging and it stopped eating grass to look up and pose for me.


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